I've been thinking alot lately about love- romantic, platonic, family all of it
and the significance of it in our lives and I've realized that ...
wanting to be loved and wanting to love is a completely natural impulse I think that most people have. and to resist such desires out of rational thinking or acting tough or detached just creates blockages in our energy flow. These blockages stem from a sense of fear that we will be disappointed by an external factor (which is a completely realistic possibility, because things change all the time)
Along the same lines, we hear nowadays all about self-love and putting yourself first and whatnot, and it never reaaally struck a chord with me.. it all seemed so vague. So theoretical. Yes respecting yourself is important but why should one prioritize and isolate ourselves from the community because we need to do some 'healing'? We humans never exist in pure isolation so how is this possible? It just didn't make sense to me or feel healthy to have the attitude of 'i'm the only one that matters and stuff all others'...
Maybe my interpretation and the expressions I was consuming was off all along. I have a new way of thinking about it...
I think the whole idea of self-love is letting love live through you. Allowing love to be expressed through you first rather than expecting that expression of love from others. That's the way we can consistently be in touch and in presence with it, because its within our control of our actions and thoughts and words...
Instead of expecting another being to show love, maybe you can experience it for yourself by simply being the love that you wish to receive. With family, with friends, with lovers, acquaintances, co-workers, enemies alike. Then whenever there's a will or desire there to love, you will always be in the presence of love so long as you are interacting with other beings.
And in turn, by observing yourself in this expression of love you are truly able to feel love and be confident in yourself. Whenever I'm in healthy relations with other people, it's usually because I like the way that I'm able to be kind, compassionate and caring in those relations. So instead of pinpointing that to an external factor (ie a situation or another person) perhaps these qualities can be embodied from within you and expressed to all the people in your life that you care about. In this way, you can be exactly the change you wish to see. In this way you can love yourself by loving others, and others in turn can receive that love and feel loved.
Love is a two way street. Even if it's love for yourself.